I realized this morning upon waking what the theme of this past year has been for me.
Its been all about overcoming all the areas in my life where I was afraid.
Afraid to reach out. Afraid to try something new. Afraid to chase after a dream. Afraid to invest in myself. Afraid to fully believe in myself. Afraid to take leaps. Afraid to experience life fully. Afraid to fully feel. Afraid of what others might think of me. Afraid to fully surrender. Afraid to ask for help. Afraid to fully step myself out of the norm.
Well without fully realizing it until now… I conquered them all. Well at least a hell of a lot of them. I have accomplished an incredible amount in this past year, and man I should have with the year that I had. Every corner, every conversation, every decision, I was strongly facing some kind of fear I had within me. It was hard.
I guess I first somewhat noticed it when I was ziplining in Costa Rica. I had zero fear. Where in the past the nerves in my stomach would have made me so uncomfortable and sick. My anxiety would have been through the roof. But not only was that not present I was giddy about it. I was the first one getting hooked up to that line and practically throwing myself off the ledge. Laughing when the guides joked about me not being hooked up correctly after I had already taken off. Arms out wide, gaze going in all directions. Dropping head first down the rope drops…whatever they are called…and having a fucking blast.
There was resistance though. I will say that. I didn’t go head first on my first drop, the guides had to help me break through that barrier. And I never did go upside down on one of the zip lines. I still wanted to be able to reach back up with my hand and hold on. But it wasn’t from a place of fear though…I came to realize it was just because I had never done it, nor had I seen someone in person do it yet, so I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what it would look like. That is what stopped me. But I’m working on dropping that hesitation as well where I think I have to see someone else do it first in order for me to. Its not accurate, its just the way my mind has been trained to think. Another limitation I’m ecstatic to break through.
All in all I just keep coming back to the same conclusion, that the emotions of fear, worry, and doubt are not necessary. But we can use them and see them as indicators that we have reached a wall/block/hesitation and that once we push through it, there is some serious awesomeness waiting on the other side.
So my little wise words for the day . . . That I’m going to continue repeating for myself as well …
Don’t doubt yourself.
Let go of worry. We don’t need it.
And push through fear, that Hazelnut Hu Chocolate Bar is waiting on the other side 😉 and there just might be a raspberry one too ?? 😀
Love you all.
May this coming year be a fearless one.